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150 articles are available as listed below. To view a full article click on its highlighted heading. Thanks for keeping up with our "Troubadour."
Contemporary Ramblings from The Troubadour (that 800-year-old lute plucker from France :)
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Date Posted
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What Ever Happened To [...] #1035
[Happy Mothers' Day to all the, um, non-rolled-reefer "mothers" out there! Back in my day, we used to find small groups to sit around and say, "Fire that mother up!" But we weren't talking about human motherhood. Which reminds: Does "Happy Mothers' Day" include the entire mammalian kingdom as well? Don't wolves, for example, have mothers? Bears? Coyotes? ...
Sun May 11th
Sun May 11th
413
1 hr ago
What Ever Happened To [...] #1034
[Good Mourning. Everybody broke? Has Uncle Sam taken his hands out of your pockets yet? How about your state's taxing paws? Here in Illy-noise, we have a legislature that: long ago promised lottery money would go towards education, tollway revenues would fix all the roads, and more recently claimed that the state is suddenly too poor to continue paying most ...
Sun Apr 20th
Sun Apr 20th
403
1 hr ago
What Ever Happened To [...] #1033
[Welcome back, to me, from parts unknown. Literally. In fact, I've just returned from parts unknown even, and especially, to myself. You might never have known them either and, for now (on the advice of counsel), we should keep them that way. Oh, and the other (dang lousy SOB'n) thing that's been lancing the "free" right out of my freelancing: Income Tax! ...
Fri Apr 4th
Fri Apr 4th
406
1 hr ago
What Ever Happened To [...] #1032
["And the 'hits' just keep on comin'…." "Hits" on websites and Twitter, I suppose. Hello, everyone, and welcome to another 24 hours of Bad Joke Friday! Which, without further ado, brings us right to today's topic. OK, joke. Maybe even bad joke! But this has all played out recently in various chat rooms, on ultrarunning listservs, Runner's World magazines, ...
Sat Jan 25th
Sat Jan 25th
822
1 hr ago
What Ever Happened To [...] #1031
[Happy--or at least less miserable--New Year, Everyone! It's been awhile since we've rolled down our sleeves and written anything for the Internet. (Or is it World Wide Web, and, if so, what's the difference? That's something I never could figure out. It was supposedly invented by Al Gore? But I haven't been able to figure him out either.) Nevertheless, ...
Fri Jan 10th
Fri Jan 10th
907
1 hr ago
What Ever Happened To [...] #1030
[Good Aftermourning, "all you groovy guys and groovy gals!" (as they used to say, oh, by now it seems like centuries ago). The "mourning" part has to do with my recent discoveries of rampant unfairness and lack of integrity in our sport, and in running/racing in general. But no, further research is required so I won't be writing about that for awhile. The ...
Nov 15, 2013
Nov 15, 2013
956
1 hr ago
What Ever Happened To [...] #1029
[Happy "Bad," everyone! As in, today is "Bad Joke Friday" once more. And the chatter lately all throughout our little whirled of ultradom has been abuzz with bad jokes having nothing to do with ultrarunning. Everything from hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia (fear of bib number 666 ;-) to James Earl Ray's old Brushy Mountain Penitentiary being turned into a DISTILLERY ...
Nov 8, 2013
Nov 8, 2013
1144
1 hr ago
What Ever Happened To [...] #1028
[Hello-everyone-and-happy-bad-joke-Friday. OK, that's out of the way. Now I can get off my chest what's REALLY bothering me, besides the shirt. Today's little rankle is about raceday. But first, how do you spell it? Is it "race day," "race-day," or "raceday"? Or maybe "Raceday," "RaceDay," or "Du Jour des Runnique a la Asses Off?" I've seen it all ways, ...
Oct 11, 2013 1812
1 hr ago
What Ever Happened To [...] #1027
[Good After-Morning to all of my friends, acquaintances, fellow Listservites and Listswervians, and to only a few of my sworn enemies. (You don't know who you are. :) Today is another BJF (Bad Joke Friday) and I'm just getting started. What prompted this little treatise today was this, as was, I believe, first posted on the Ultralist by my good friend Carl ...
Oct 4, 2013
Oct 4, 2013
1524
55 mins ago
What Ever Happened To [...] #1026
[Is it Bad Joke Friday? Again? Already?? Well, here's something I recently thought of that nobody cares about: water bottles. Right. The lowly, lowly water bottle. And why did I ever have my head so low in the first place as to think up such down-in-the-pumps type stuff? (Don't ask. It's been an emotionally tough week. Death and dismemberment all around. ...
Sep 13, 2013 1507
55 mins ago
What Ever Happened To [...] #1025
[Welcome back to Bad Joke or--as I've been thinking lately--Negativity Friday. First, in other news of the universe, I see that next summer's "Last Annual" Vol-State Road Race is now COMPLETELY FULL! The projected field will be expanded by nearly triple, and it only took three weeks from the end of the 2013 version to fill up the 2014 version. So I guess, by ...
Aug 19, 2013 2144
55 mins ago
What Ever Happened To [...] #1024
[Awhile ago, somebuddy or somebunny noted--along with his or her training regimen, specimen, preferences, Garmin trackings, VO2-max vs. HR-extremities, nutritional intake vs. wastage outpour, etc., etc., etc., and, oh yeah, complete lists of all the races he or she has ever run vs. all the upcoming races he or she fully intends to do--that (are you still with ...
Jul 26, 2013
Jul 26, 2013
2027
55 mins ago
What Ever Happened To [...] #1023
[There seems to be some recent concern/inquiry/puzzlement over women runners who have attempted The Barkley Marathons--yea, woe yea--"the race that eats its young" (perhaps answering the inquiries right there). All those lovely young (hey, they are ALL young AND gorgeous) women runners were eaten. Yup! Hardbitten, chewy, and swallowed. And every single one ...
May 11, 2013
May 11, 2013
2156
55 mins ago
What Ever Happened To [...] #1022
[It doesn't seem much like it today, but Happy Bad Joke Friday anyway! Here's one I just heard (actually saw online) that may even pertain (to much of the country): "It's so cold today, I actually saw a Democrat with his hands in his own pockets." ;-) I should sell that one to… whichever of the five dozen late night talk shows now on TV that might be writer-starved ...
Feb 28, 2013
Feb 28, 2013
2373
55 mins ago
What Ever Happened To [...] #1021
["Blade Gunner"? So, eh? Whatever happened to Oscar Pistorius? Got Pist once too often? Or 'e yuss… forgot who he was living with? What the roommate smelled like even? What??? He "thinks" he's being invaded by some UNKNOWN INTRUDER at o'dark-thirty in the mourning WHO LETS HERSELF IN WITH A KEY??? He then EMPTIES his revolver into said "unknown" housebreaker-with-scent? ...
Feb 19, 2013
Feb 19, 2013
2285
55 mins ago
What Ever Happened To [...] #1020
[Hey! We're all still alive today! So, welcome to BJF--and I mean, REALLY Bad Joke Friday. Damn Mayo (Mayonnaise?) peeps had us BS'd for over a thousand years. Or, something like that. Of course, I'm 800 and don't remember. I never did pay any mind to "Mayans," although methinks someone just re-minded that "Maya" is the people, while "Mayan" is the language. ...
Dec 24, 2012 3138
55 mins ago
What Ever Happened To [...] #1019
[Welcome to Bad Joke Friday, and to antiquity. Today's joke, or rather subject matter, has to do with something we all were born with--some of us a loooong long time ago. Our ancestors were born with it (them) too. It's hard to say just who was in power when that scene all changed, but it probably had something to do with the discovery of cowhide. Dinosaurhide? ...
Dec 7, 2012
Dec 7, 2012
2395
55 mins ago
What Ever Happened To [...] #1018
[Hello again! After all this *time*! Where did it go? Where does time ever go? Maybe it was never here to begin with! In any event, since it--once again--seems to be Friday and therefore full of jokes, bad or otherwise, AND since the running and ultrarunning communities have just received word that our beloved sage and desert hero, Dr. "Badwater Ben" Jones ...
Dec 1, 2012
Dec 1, 2012
3144
55 mins ago
What Ever Happened To [...] #1017
[Good Aftermourning, my fiends! Hey, it's almost Halloween; and so, boos & ghouls, y'all must be "fiends," eh? Anyway, again it's Bad Joke Friday and I have nothing for ya. Which is precisely why I'm upchucking the following instead. Happy All Hallows' Eve, everyone! And wherever you're running tomorrow, just remember: I won't be running with you. I'll ...
Oct 31, 2012 2364
55 mins ago
What Ever Happened To [...] #1016
[Welcome again to Bad Joke Friday, hey? Anybody got one, besides "Lance"? Sorry to say last week's entry in this particular category had to be postponed, on account of me riding the highway then at this time; just like, uh, in those immortal words of one Jim Morrison: "Ride the highway east, baby. The east is the feast!" Or, something like that. Anyway, ...
Oct 22, 2012
Oct 22, 2012
2370
55 mins ago
What Ever Happened To [...] #1015
[So, in response to probably what nobody ever asked--like, what ever happened to What Ever Happened To?--What Ever Happened To is back. Which reminds me of an old "English Major" joke: Punctuate the following so that it makes perfect sense: John while Jim had had had had had had had had had had had been the right answer. No, DON'T feel like I'm challenging ...
Oct 7, 2012
Oct 22, 2012
2352
55 mins ago
What Ever Happened To [...] #1014
[Oh my heavings! Just LOOKIT what's goin' down deze daze. Our listservs totally have been *Alive with the Sound of Musings*. Or rather, of dismay… and argument and integument (sports heroes "covering up") and all kinds of other bewailments and gnashings of teeth over all sorts of unseemly sportspeeps. I don't want to have to replay or republish all kinds ...
Sep 19, 2012
Sep 19, 2012
2517
55 mins ago
What Ever Happened To [...] #1013
[Good Afternoon, or Evening, or whatever it is. Happy Friday the Thirteen and "The Return of Jason inside that damned hockey goalie's mask"! Nah, I just mean the return of yours troubly after such a long absence that I don't even know when I wrote y'all last. Maybe just before the Civil War. Or whatever it was. Most likely Uncivil. Anyway, today is also ...
Jul 14, 2012
Jul 14, 2012
2806
55 mins ago
What Ever Happened To [...] #1012
[Grittings and salivations, alla you gah-groovy guys an' groovy gals! And welcome back (me)--although your opinion may vary--from "vacation" to "Bad Joke Fridays" in general and to this weakly offering in particular. Since some of said vacation involved traipsing around Mayan ruins near Cancun, Mexico, I was thinking: "Whoa! This week's topic oughta be WEHT…the ...
Jun 26, 2012
Jun 26, 2012
2715
55 mins ago
What Ever Happened To [...] #1011
[In keeping with, or trying to restore, "the spirit of Bad Joke Fridays," I've decided to chip in the following "take" on all these currently wildly exotic--and damned expensive!--versions of excursions that equally wildly exotic race directors are now concocting. Never mind just Badwater and MdS, now sullenly we have this: http://g2gultra.com/. Click on RACE ...
Jun 12, 2012 2432
55 mins ago
What Ever Happened To [...] #1010
[So. Here I was all set to post up yet another abomination of rhetoric, language, and good taste, when WHAM: I spied an email in my Inbox from Tim Butterfield. And OMG! This has entirely forced me to change plans, scrap the rhetoric, and concoct new "language." Right. And, yes, I do want to show y'all what he was talkin' about--maybe I'll append it to the ...
Jun 12, 2012
Jun 12, 2012
2527
55 mins ago
What Ever Happened To [...] #1009
[And now to try and go back to take up the slack…] The Lincoln Administraction Presents… WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO ["After You"] ? Because today, it's all ME. Me first! You AFTER me! What I get out of life is most important to ME! Not you. The heck with YOU! It's like "me radio." WMEE-AM & FM. "All me all the time." Friends, the Commandments ...
May 21, 2012
May 21, 2012
2331
55 mins ago
What Ever Happened To [...] #1008
[And now for something completely different :] The Warren G. Harding Administraction Presents... WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO [Wheaties] ? Yes, and for that matter, what ever happened to WHEAT? "The Breakfast of Champions" is very likely on the brink of extinction; just like normal wheat, healthy wheat, wheat grown in non-genetically-mutated fields by ...
Apr 22, 2012
Apr 22, 2012
2688
55 mins ago
What Ever Happened To [...] #1007
[Having returned from Tennessee and, of course, "That Event" which took place over the past 3-day weekend, I've been convalescing in my shellshock ever since. I have struggled mightily to understand the phenomenon, but have ultimately given up in despair of ever unraveling the "mystery"; and so I now give you this, as follows, which is to serve both as fair ...
Apr 9, 2012 2650
55 mins ago
What Ever Happened To [...] #1006
[Wow. What Ever happened to Winter in the Midwest? It left early this year! And in its wake it left all this trash in my yard that the snow used to hide. Reminds me how ultras in the woods have changed, too--for the worse. Too many peeps, methinks, have been counting too long on snow hiding their refuse as well. Well, it's pretty bad. And I've decided ...
Apr 6, 2012 2473
12 mins ago
What Ever Happened To [...] #1005
[Freshly, or UNfreshly, back from my special "treat to beat my feet on the Mississippi MUD," I feel UNspired today to rap about PAVEMENT--and thank the good load for it, too! And thanks otherwise to today's listserv chatterings on this very topic as well. ;-] The Reagan Administraction Presents... WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO ["Road Races"] ? Right. What ...
Mar 12, 2012
Apr 22, 2012
3283
12 mins ago
What Ever Happened To [...] #1004
[Oh joy, oh rapture! It must be Bad Joke Friday again. Firstly, I'd like to thank all you most excellent peeps who've been so helpful, both in public and private, and sympathetic with my pathetic titanium tribulations with trying to sync my titanic new Macintosh machine. Thank you. And, secondly, I will get back to you all in due time, especially if I find ...
Feb 28, 2012
Mar 23, 2012
2535
12 mins ago
What Ever Happened To [...] #1003
The Washington Administraction Presents... WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO ["Pen and Paper"] ? So, what in this world is ever happening to pen and paper? That's right, the implements by which the chronicling of civilization on this planet has forever been accomplished. Do we mean to say these tried-and-true tools are OBSOLETE? All paper disappears--including ...
Feb 17, 2012
Feb 24, 2012
2535
12 mins ago
What Ever Happened To [...] #1002
The Reagan Administraction Presents... WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO ["The Poor Man's Sport"] ? So, what in the whirl of marketing wizardry has ever happened to "the Poor Man's Sport"? You know, the sport where all it ever took was (yes) gym shoes, white socks, sweats and sweat band, a dial wristwatch, and out the door you'd go! You could do this six-days-a-week ...
Feb 17, 2012
Feb 17, 2012
2863
12 mins ago
What Ever Happened To [...] #1001
[Happy Day, Friends and Playmates and Hopeless Romantics All! Today in honor of "Bad Joke Friday" we wish to launch a whole new Bad, or Joke, or Pre-weakened Festivity. We wish to call it WEHT (with numbers doubtless heading into the thousands, hence the number). And we also want to say that this whole thing was inspired in the first place by my good friend ...
Feb 6, 2012
Feb 17, 2012
2627
12 mins ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #115
[Merry Holidays, Everyone! We bring you grave tidings of mediocre joy. This series is about to end, like, NOW. We're taking the rest of the day off and will see you again after New Year's, just jam-packed with fresh (read: raw) new material. Oh, how can you stand to wait? (It's easy; go for a run instead.) For the final RM/WoG, we're about to--for the first ...
Jan 2, 2012 2811
12 mins ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #114
[Happy "Bad Joke Friday" once again! Here, possibly, is the best joke: yours troubly is taking a little time off for "Da Hollydaze," but is also thinking of trying something brand-new. Hence this particular RM/WoG shtick may very well be phased (fazed?) out...to extinction? After all, Bud Light is no longer doing its RMOG (anybody ever notice its LACK of ...
Dec 16, 2011 2604
12 mins ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #113
Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss!} Today we salute you, Mr. "Cyber Monday Only" Millennial Shopping Runner Who Just Can't Wait To Spill The Beans. {"Looooooooooooook at alllllllllllll-the-gas-mo-ney-I'm-saaaaaaaaaaaaa-ving!"} "Amazon is having a limited sale on Gummy Bears," you post up and tell us. "And I ...
Dec 2, 2011
Dec 9, 2011
2564
12 mins ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #112
[Today we give thanks--tanks?--to Stu "Stu-man-Fu" Gibeau, who suggested today's RM/WoG topic some weeks ago, when I was either weak from eye surgery or recovering from the weak before. In any event, Stu has considerably suffered himself--due to the unfairness of illness which has plagued his niece in the UK--so this is my little effort to help cheer him up. ...
Nov 25, 2011
Dec 9, 2011
2483
12 mins ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #111
[Bear with me. I'm trying to post this as close to 11-11-11-11:11:11 CST as possible. Sure, it's nuts. I admit! And probably just as nuts in my way as dressing up in a costume to run a marathon is in *his* (see below). Oh, and by the way, please notice the number of today's offering--with which, by this posting, I believe this series now surpasses the total ...
Dec 9, 2011 2773
12 mins ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #110
[By the way, once again, none of this is pointed at anybody. ALL of it is fiction!] Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss!} Today we salute you, Mr. Big City Marathon-and-other-footraces Runner With A Halloween Costume On. {Arrrrrrrrrrre YOUUUUU Sven-goooooooo-lie OR Mis-tress El-viiiiiiiiiii-ra?} Rhinoceros ...
Oct 28, 2011
Dec 9, 2011
2584
12 mins ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #109
Ingelhook Wineries present... REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS {Re-al gals of geeeeeene-yuss!} Today we propose a toast to you, Miss iPhone-overloaded-with-Apps Big City Marathon Runner. {"OMG!!! U2? LOL!! I-M-2222222kewl44444444wurdz!!!!!"} You have "it" tucked right there inside your little half-sleeve pocket, don't you? And your iPod is there in your ...
Dec 9, 2011 2545
12 mins ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #108
[Today's "Bad Joke Friday" contribution is based on an idea first suggested by my dear old (not so old, eh--she's my age!) college friend Therese Simoneau, who worked with me on the student paper. Over the years her commentaries, observations, and political analyses have been spot-on and priceless. Without her, I'd still be the News Editor at Normal, yes, Illinois. ...
Oct 7, 2011
Dec 9, 2011
2802
12 mins ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #107
[And this, in "furtheration" of the huge current outcry to "refudiate" marathon world records, could be next: http://ozmud.wordpress.com/2011/09/29/running-with-sarah- did-she-or-didn%E2%80%99t-she-summary-part-2/] Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss!} Today we salute you, Mr. Big City Backwards-Facing So-Called ...
Oct 3, 2011
Oct 3, 2011
3296
12 mins ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #106
Ingelhook Wineries present... REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS {Re-al gals of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we propose a toast to you, Miss After-The-Marathon In The Family Meeting Area Clothes And Jog Bra Changer. {Misssssssssss Ohhhhhhhhhhh Myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Gawwwwwwwk!!} You just can't resist--or wait--can you? You're feeling all hot and sweaty with a huge ...
Sep 23, 2011
Oct 3, 2011
2895
12 mins ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #105
[Today I have a plumber fixing LEAKS downstairs which naturally, uh, reminded me of this :] Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss!} Today we salute you, Mr. NYC Marathon Starter on the Verrazano-Narrows Bridge Upper Deck and Pee-er. {"Ittttt's like my eeeeeeeeee-mer-gen-cy esssssssssss-scape valve!"} Relieving ...
Sep 17, 2011
Oct 3, 2011
3014
12 mins ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #104
[Hmmm...so now it seems we're suddenly in "marathon season"? Well now, ain't THAT a sweet source of sullen inspiration...] Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss!} Today we salute you, Mr. Handheld Backwards-Riding Motorcycle Television Filmer of Big City Marathons. {Yoooooooooou ride bettttt-ttttttter than Ca-lam-mitttt-ty ...
Sep 9, 2011
Oct 3, 2011
2872
12 mins ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #98 [No, that's not an error or misprint]
[We are sad today to report a case of old-age, dementia, or fallout from last month's trip to Tennessee and its completely infamous Vol-State Road Rage--oops, I mean Road Race. By so sojourning, it seemed that yours troubly could no longer COUNT the RM/WoG sequence from before he left till after he returned, and thus this archive showed (still shows!) some idiotic ...
Aug 29, 2011
Oct 3, 2011
2587
12 mins ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #103
[Continuing along with this week's "tradition" of peeps nominating other peeps for "the treatment," we, uh, now have the following, um, "thing" as nominated or suggested by someone who wishes to remain anonymous. Can't blame the person. I'd do this anonymously, too, but then peeps would start recognizing *me* all over this as being the butt of the joke. Wouldn't ...
Aug 19, 2011
Oct 3, 2011
3557
12 mins ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #102
Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss!} Today we salute you, Mr. Running No-Doubt Morally Superior Holier-Than-Thou. {"Whaaaaat ARRRRRRRRRE you wri-ting here? Thisss is an out-raaaaaaaaaaaaaage!"} Sense of humor? Please. There is no humor in the church of mine-holeyer-than-your-butt-is. How is it possible even ...
Aug 13, 2011
Aug 19, 2011
2688
12 mins ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #101
Ingelhook Wineries present... REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS {Re-al gals of geeeeeene-yuss!} Today we raise our glass to you, Miss Most Knowledgeable Running Hair Arranger, Except For The Wedding. {Missss "I reeeeeeeeally need-toooooooo-look-my-best, jussssssssst once!"} You did say that the very best hair style for women runners is NO hair practically ...
Aug 5, 2011
Aug 19, 2011
2703
56 mins ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #100
[R-mog and/or R-m/wog is late today, sorry, on accounta WAY MORE IMPORTANT and IMPRESSIVE reportings of REAL achievements. Like, dig: Lisa Bliss is now the first-woman-EVER to run an entire solo/unaided Badwater-like crossing from the lowest point of elevation within these 48 contiguous United States to the highest point (Mt. Whitney)--a HOT Death Valley distance ...
Aug 5, 2011
Aug 19, 2011
2929
19 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #99
Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss!} Today we salute you, Mr. Really, Really BAD "Bad Joke Friday" Listserv Poster. {Waaaaaaaas it some-thing you-saw-in-the-Mennnnnnnnnnnnnn's Roooom?} OK, what is it this week: Off-color? Politically incorrect? Slurringly racial? Totally insensitive to the international community ...
Jul 22, 2011
Aug 19, 2011
3045
4 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #97
Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss!} Today we salute you, Mr. First-Time-Ever Crew Person for a Very Competitive Ultrarunner. {Yoooooooooooou're gon-na be a paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack muuuuule!!} What could be easier, right? You drive the van; she (or he, of course) runs the race. All's you figure you need to do ...
Jul 2, 2011
Aug 19, 2011
2763
4 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #96
[Caution: This in no way refers to our most beloved newest newlywed Paige Dunmore, who *may* have misperceived some sort of "veiled threat" (ha ha) that on this particular Friday she might find herself being written about here. But no. She is much too young. But--if she continues to plan anything running-club-related like she handled the non-publicity surrounding ...
Jun 24, 2011
Aug 19, 2011
2861
4 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #95
Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss!} Today we salute you, Mr. Alter-Ego Inventor and Pseudonymous Poster to the Listserv. {Wherrrrrrrrrrrrrrre do yoooooooooou come up with this stufffffffff?} Please. "Bumpshack"? "Raw Vegetable Runner"? "Human Sacrifice"? Isn't it enough that there's already three thousand ...
Jun 17, 2011
Jun 24, 2011
3652
4 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #94
Ingelhook Wineries present... REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS {Re-al gals of geeeeeene-yuss!} Today we propose a toast to you, Miss Self-Confidence--But Absolutely NEEDING To Ask Everyone Else's Opinion First. {Misssss Oooo-zing With Cer-tain-tyyyy and Brim-ming With Con-fi-dennnnnnnnnnce!} Should you wear compression socks--what does the group think? ...
Jun 10, 2011
Jun 24, 2011
3048
4 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #93
Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss!} Today we salute you, Mr. "Fresh Flawless" Logic of the Ultrarunning Listserv. {"IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII think, there-fore yooooooooooou must-n't!"} Patrick Stewart, highly polished little Russian boxes, Hope Pass, and hydration packs big enough inside to smuggle ...
Jun 3, 2011
Jun 24, 2011
3038
4 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #92
Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss!} Today we salute you, Mr. Brandnew English Grammar Creator and Thuslike Hurryuper to Listserv Commentate. {Surrrrrrrrre you cannnnnnnnnnnnn ig-nore theeeeeeeeeeee spell-check!} "I've did," you write. "I've now have ran that race to." "I was their before they got there permit ...
May 27, 2011
Jun 24, 2011
2928
4 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #91
Ingelhook Wineries present... REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS {Re-al gals of geeeeeene-yuss!} Today we raise our glass to you, Miss Recent Graduate of Kitchen University as a Registered Dietitian with All The Best Quotes and Answers. {Misssss to-tallllllll-ly colllllllll-lege ed-u-ca-ted cave-grrrl hun-ter-and-gath-er-err!} You're barely in your 20s--doubtless ...
May 20, 2011
May 27, 2011
3123
4 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #90
Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss!} Today we salute you, Mr. Totally Confused Directionally-Challenged Race Marshalling Volunteer. {Will you puh-leeeeeeeeeeeease tell us all where to gooooooooo?!} Thank you for your service, sir, but the system of trails you're supposed to be marshalling is over there. If ...
May 13, 2011
May 27, 2011
3305
4 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #89
[Good Afternoon, Seekers of Truth & General Glommer-Onners, and welcome once again to "Bad Joke Friday," eh? Today's RM/WoG subject matter was suggested by my terrific ol' friend Tess Simoneau. If there is anyone alive today who could actually "tess-tify" as to how I was as a (very) young man, she could be it. We worked on the Illinois State University student ...
May 6, 2011
May 27, 2011
3285
18 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #88
[Today's "offering" has been offered by our friend, Louise Mason, who took the time to clip stories like what-this-is-based-on out of newspapers--like, hey, The New York Times--and then snailmail me the clippings. So, our thanks go out to her, whom I otherwise like to call "Louuuuu--WHEEEEEZE"!! ;-] Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Re-al ...
Apr 30, 2011
May 27, 2011
2861
18 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #87
[Forgive me, folks, for this particular edition--which isn't *exactly* about running, but it certainly does involve something we ALL are involved IN...whether we like it or not. Even internationally, all around the world, hey, you have governments. And you do pay taxes.] Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss!} Today ...
Apr 22, 2011
Apr 27, 2011
2886
11 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #86
Bud Light presents... REAL MEN/WOMEN OF GENIUS {Re-al men-wimm-men of geeeeeene-yuss!} Today we salute you, Mr. AND Mrs. Barkley Marathons Did-Not-Finishers. {Misssssss-ter AND Mis-susssssssssss Barrrrrrr-kley D-N-F-errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrs!!} There has never been a "Newlywed Game" quite like this one, huh? Instead of each one predicting what ...
Apr 8, 2011
Apr 9, 2011
3576
4 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #85
Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss!} Today we salute you, Mr. Shorts-and-Singlet Wearer No Matter What The Weather Is Like For Your Race. {Mis-ter "jac-kets-hats-mitttt-tens-and-tights are toooooooooo con-fiiiii-ning!"} All we have to do to feel warm inside is just take a quick gawk at you. It's wintertime, ...
Mar 18, 2011
Apr 9, 2011
2672
14 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #84
[I just now thought of this, which should be "dedicated" (uh-huh) to, well, he *knows* who he is! ;-)] Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss!} Today we salute you, Mr. Race Official and Weather Forecaster Who Casually Mentions "Some Chance of Rain" for Raceday. {Mis-ter "commmmmme fro-lic in-our-rainnnn-drops-and-splash-innnnn-our-mud!"} "A ...
Mar 11, 2011
Apr 9, 2011
2980
19 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #83
Ingelhook Wineries present... REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS {Re-al gals of geeeeeene-yuss!} Today we propose our toast to you, Miss Never-Having-Run-an-Ultramarathon and yet Somehow-Able-to-Give-All-Advice About It. {Missss allll-wise and allll-knowww-ing allll-most exxx-pert on allll-most ev-er-y-thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!} You give new meaning to the old ...
Feb 25, 2011
Apr 9, 2011
3146
6 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #82
Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. Barefoot SHOES for the Barefoot Runner Inventor. {Mis-ter innnn-ven-tor of reeeeeeeeal-ly ma-gi-cal and oth-er immmmmm-pos-si-ble stuff!} Truly, this is an epic event of recordable creative history that's every bit as equal in importance to the re-invention ...
Feb 18, 2011
Apr 9, 2011
3170
40 mins ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #81
Ingelhook Wineries present... REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS {Re-al gals of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we raise our glass to you, Miss OCD Worrywart that You WON'T Be Ready for Your Upcoming Ultra After Having Been on a Rather Strenuous Three-Week Vacation. {Missss just-reeeee-turned-from speeeeeed-hik-ing Southhhh-east Aaaaaa-sia!} You are afraid--aren't ya!--that ...
Feb 11, 2011
Apr 9, 2011
3283
19 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #80
[And folks thought that RWOG #78 was far-fetched. Hah! Lately the Ultra listserv has been all abuzz with totally-serious posts that actually pertain to the same dang thing! :-] Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. You-Don't-Need-No-Stinking-Metronome Because You're An iPhone Special Apps ...
Feb 4, 2011
Apr 9, 2011
3444
19 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #79
[Today we are indebted to our friend Toni Aurilio for suggesting the subject matter. Personally I (and perhaps many of you) have witnessed this very thing in the past along various wooded trails--and in big city alleyways during marathons--but never gave it much thought because men do it all the time!] Ingelhook Wineries present... REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS {Re-al ...
Jan 28, 2011
Apr 9, 2011
2891
15 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #78
Ingelhook Wineries present... REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS {Re-al gals of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we'd like to raise our glass to you, Ms. Electronic Metronome Carrier--on your HEAD, underneath your STOCKING CAP--Who's Supposedly Just Trying To Improve Your Running Pace. {Mizzzz oh-my-gaud-wherrrrrrrrrrrrrrre didd-ja getttttt that THINGGGGGGG?} There is ...
Jan 21, 2011
Jan 28, 2011
3275
3 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #77
Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. Blogger-Twitter-Tweeter-Woofer-MySpacedOut-Facebooker While Still Running in the Footrace Footracer. {Mis-ter Whoa! Thissssssss Is A Mouuuuuuuuth-fulllllllllll!!} You are truly something special. Leave it to you to take that "one step beyond" just ...
Jan 14, 2011
Jan 28, 2011
2978
13 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #76
[This, coming in the wake of recent tragedies involving runners and ultrarunners, is bound to "set a few folks off." But please, bear with me as you would "Mr. Warmth"--Don Rickles--who loves to insult folks, then invite them backstage after the show. Call me "Mr. Cold Dead Hand." ;-] Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today ...
Jan 7, 2011
Jan 28, 2011
3346
19 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #75
Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. Enterprising Young Silk Screener and T-Shirt Maker Who Can't Spell. {Mis-ter "it cerrrrrrrr-tain-ly LOOKED-like-that on the Innnnnn-terrrrrr-net"!} "Graitful Dead"? "Pottle Morerain"? "Runing is a fart form"? And how about that nice ultra quotation ...
Dec 17, 2010
Dec 17, 2010
3840
17 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #74
[Happy Hanukkah, y'all! So, like, to counterbalance allah dys negativity (heh heh) I've been trying to send everyone my other "positivity" this week (actually just since sundown on Dec. 1st), but wow--in only a year's time--everybody's e-addy has changed! So, what the hell, if you didn't get your "invitation," just log onto the following for this week's extra ...
Dec 17, 2010
Dec 17, 2010
3730
19 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #73
[There were lots of pretty snarky--and clever!--comments posted to the Ultralist this past week which, of course, inspired the following snarky commentary .) Thanks, snarks!] Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. Totally Too-Kewl Hyper-savvy Psychobabbling Technospeaking Running Shoe Store ...
Nov 19, 2010
Dec 17, 2010
4221
9 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #72
[Indeed, our friend Juli Aistars again gets credit for suggesting this as the second half of her RM/WoG idea submitted last week. Thanks, kiddo! And good luck to her and to every other mother and body else who's currently resting up for the "next/umpteenth annual Mother Road 100-miler" which leaves its latest OK truckstop tomorrow morning. Unlike the below, ...
Nov 12, 2010
Nov 19, 2010
4424
19 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #71
[Today, after having blown off "Positivity Wednesday" because, really--after THAT election?--does anyone out there actually think that anything positive whatsoever can now possibly be done? Anyway, today we're back to normal, and I'm indebted to our friend Juli Aistars for suggesting today's topic. In my opinion, it puts squarely outside on the trails of nature ...
Nov 5, 2010
Nov 19, 2010
10151
19 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #70
[This one's not so much to do with running, as with writing about it, which is another pet peeve of yours, eh? Me writing about it all the time! :-) Grate dais ever body! And Happy All Hallows' Eve!!] Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. Entirely Too Hyped-Up Word-Processing Auto-Corrective-Programming ...
Oct 29, 2010
Nov 19, 2010
4801
19 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #69
[Per still more recently appertaining Ultralist threads... :] Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. Power Tools User and Remedier for All Your Foot and Toenail Woes. {Mis-ter "myyy cord-less e-lec-tric hedge trimmm-mer works just fine!!"} It's too bad we don't see more Black & Deckers ...
Oct 22, 2010
Nov 19, 2010
3925
19 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #68
[Per recent Ultralist appertaining threads... :] Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. Pitifully Worried Runner That All Others In The Race Are "Getting Some" Except You. {Mis-ter "noo-bo-dy loves me, ev'ry-bod-y hates me, I'mmm gon-na-eat-some-wormmms!"} Sure. You're looking around ...
Oct 15, 2010
Oct 22, 2010
4046
4 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #67
[Happy "BJF," all! I'm so tempted to borrow Marvelous Marv's phrase ("seedy underbelly?") and Laz's "con-man & hustler" for use today in describing our genius and/or such sociology as such labels might well represent, but no. I'm stickin' to more tangible phenomena. I've witnessed stuff like the following myself...] Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF ...
Oct 8, 2010
Oct 22, 2010
4170
2 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #66
Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. Super-Popular Limited-Entry Ultramarathon Race Director That Refuses to Go To A Lottery. {Mis-ter "It's STILLLLL a fairrrr sys-stem of on-line ennnnnn-try!"} So, this year your entire field was filled in, what, less than six minutes? You get an annual ...
Sep 19, 2010
Oct 22, 2010
4801
10 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #65
Ingelhook Wineries present... REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS {Re-al gals of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we raise our glass to you, Missus OCD Ultrarunning Gal with the Multiple Unpronounceable Disorders. {Misss-sus perrrr-son-alllll-i-tyyyy out-the-ying-yannng!} You mean, it's 7:01 AM and you've not showered yet? This, after running your daily nine-point-three-eighth ...
Sep 17, 2010
Oct 22, 2010
4259
19 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #64
[No, friends, for right now we're going to resist writing about the apparent genuine or artificial "genius" who figured out how to beat the cyber-system and register for Umstead early. That one's too obvious. Today's contribution to the betterment of humankind is, uh, fictional?] Ingelhook Wineries present... REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS {Re-al gals of geeeeeene-yuss} Today ...
Sep 10, 2010
Oct 22, 2010
4250
15 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #63
[First of all, I'd just like to say "thanks"--reelly and troubly--to all the many folks who've--so far--responded so positively to all this negativity... ( O_O ) ...and who have even sent me e-mails which I hope they'll forgive me for not always answering... ...and to my good buddy Bill Thom for even offering to upchuck allah dys whack onto his ver kewl website ...
Sep 5, 2010
Oct 22, 2010
4271
19 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #62
[This special talent was first discovered to be ever so widely "spread" in--where else?--Caliphrenia, home of this weakened's Angeles Crest 100. Good luck to all runners everywhere over the next couple "daze," and, hey, as my old idol Frank Zappa used to sing: "Please don't eat that yellow snow!" ;] Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Re-al ...
Aug 27, 2010
Aug 27, 2010
4587
10 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #61
[w-w-w-dot-welcome.bak-forward-slash-2-me-slash-tilde-after-2-wiks? Nah. It wasn't actually that grate a vacation, but it did go a tad better than badly--right up until sometime before dawn in the darkening foggy horrors of the Marin County Headlands. Which has subsequently haunted me right up until now, when I finely realized that life somehow--despite all ...
Aug 24, 2010
Aug 27, 2010
4518
19 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #60
[Today, friends, I'm the non-angel barely bearing no gnus of grated joi. Nah, actually it's HUGE NEWS of GREAT JOY!!! As follows: 1) My good buddy Bill Thom is giving me space (soon! maybe today!!) on his wonderful website: http://www.runrace.net/ 2) For any or all those who've written over the past mini daze to ask where all the old RM/WoGs are? There ya ...
Jul 30, 2010
Aug 27, 2010
4659
9 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #59
[This one--or is it two?--presented itself the other day. And again, I just can't resist. Also please, "fictional characters that bear no resemblance to real-life characters," take no offense! OK? ;-] Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Messrs. All-of-a-Sudden Just-Now-Invented Vol-State ...
Jul 23, 2010
Jul 30, 2010
5363
12 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #58
[How could I possibly resist? ;-] Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. Impossible-Even-To-Believe Vol-State Inventor and Race Director. {Mis-ter HOT tenn-ness-ssee cross-staaaaate foot-raaace in-ven-torrrr!} Three hundred and fourteen complete and entire miles, on foot, in ten days, ...
Jul 19, 2010
Aug 27, 2010
5215
13 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #57
[Fiends, roamins, cross-countrymen, lend me your eyeballs. Today's "offering"---yo, I usually get the feelin' I'm trying to "sacrifice (stuff like this) to the angry gods," so that they'll redirect their tornadoes somewhere else---was actually first suggested by Joe Judd, who, if I understand anything at all, MAY right now be running Hardrock. Anyway, Joe'll ...
Jul 9, 2010
Aug 27, 2010
5267
7 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #56
Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. Bluetooth Earset Wearer and Talker While Working-out Runner. {Mis-ter ennn-ter-taaaiiii-ner of the whole darn raaaaace!} Pardon us for interrupting your most important conversation, but do you think you could possibly stop yakking just a second to ...
Aug 27, 2010 4376
19 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #55
[Friends, I am NOT supposed to be here--figuratively and, perhaps, literally. I'm supposed to be doing "The Beer Run." However, this past Wednesday--naught but three long exasperating days ago--in fact just after having posted my tribute to Scott Jurek--directly above this house roared an F1 tornado. Talk about "learning how to dance in the rain"!!! Anyway, ...
Jul 30, 2010
Aug 27, 2010
5222
19 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #54
[Hey, allah yous friends, fiends, friendettes, and fiendees, I have news! It turns out that "Will The Real Inspirer for RM/WoG #50 Please Come Forward?" has in fact come forward. He is none other than Bill Thom, the true cybertronic wizard behind RunRace.net, who happened to be running the Ice Age 50M way back in May and who--upon seeing me as a volunteer at ...
Jul 31, 2010
Aug 27, 2010
5267
15 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #53
Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. Cheerfully Optimistic and Overly Encouraging Aid Station Guy. {Mis-ter, weee knowwwwww what the cut-offfffffffs are!} Yes, we're wearing our watch. No, we're not sitting here because we're only just dimly aware of what ours and yours and the race's ...
Jul 31, 2010
Aug 27, 2010
4787
19 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #52
[Does it come as any surprise now--after what seems (to me) to be like A MONTH!--that my computer is now repaired and back on top of my desk? (It's why they call it a "desktop" methinks.) Anyway, today also marks about one full year in the business of contributing to Bad Joke Fridays with... yo, these bad jokes. And today's episode was actually witnessed--I ...
Jul 31, 2010
Aug 27, 2010
4793
36 mins ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #51
[I would just like to extend a non-RM/WoG shout-out to my new buddy, A.J. Johnson, who had the misfortune of enduring my pacing services last weekend at MMT100. Despite my best efforts, it was a successful dodging of said services- because he finished. Congratulations, my friend! And for your reward, you now hold an "exemption" from ever being a subject of ...
Jul 31, 2010
Aug 27, 2010
5129
14 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #50
[It is very fitting that this edition--marking almost one whole year of series existence--be composed here in Maryland, at the home of my friend and compatriot, Mike Bur. For here is where it all started. Approximately two years ago, he and I sat at his dining room table and conjured up how to adapt those glorious Bud Light radio commercials to ultrarunning. ...
Jul 31, 2010
Aug 27, 2010
5328
19 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #49
Ingelhook Wineries present... REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS {Real gals of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we raise our glass to you, Miss Interpretiv-Runnour, Taker of All Things Waaay Too Personal. {Miss "Quit try-ying to criiii-tiiiii-cize meeee all the time!"} So we congratulate you on a recent second-place finish. "You're just being sarcastic," you say. "I ...
Jul 31, 2010 5077
8 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #48
[Well, thanks to nobody who wasn't curious enough to possibly give-a-sh*t less, yours troubly did, in fact, complete Uncle Sam's Trillion Dollar Ultramarathon a few hours before cutoff. Too bad yours troubledly couldn't do that in regular ultras as well. So today's "offering" to the comedy-challenged gods & goddesses was inadvertently suggested awhile ago by ...
Jul 31, 2010 4766
19 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #47
Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. Overly Confident Too-Eager Virgin Barkley Enterer. {Mis-ter "IIIIIIIII'M gon-na beeeeee THE NEXT FIN-ISH-ER!"} Of course you can't possibly wrap your head around how it could possibly be so difficult---for, perhaps, all those other previous eight hundred ...
Jul 31, 2010 4760
12 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #46
Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. Emailing-on-the-Sly While You're at Work Guy. {Mis-ter "Don't Call Me In-to the Meet-ing Right Now; I'm On-Line!"} Never mind the fact that the struggling firm of Dewey, Cheatum, & Howe pays you several hundred dollars per hour to analyze the markets, ...
Jul 31, 2010 4699
19 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #45
Ingelhook Wineries present... REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS {Real gals of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we propose our toast to you, Mrs. Aid Station Volunteer Who Also Happens To Bring Her Kids. {Missus "I cannnnnn't find a ba-by-sit-ter sooo WTF did yooou ex-pect me to doooo?"} The little darlings. So sweet, so cute, so... everywhere/all-at-once and benefitting ...
Jul 31, 2010 4868
19 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #44
[Thanks today is due to Toni Aurilio for the suggestion---which term you'll recognize when you see it---and to several other amazing women who have told me "things" relative to this topic. Thank you all!] Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. God's-Gift to All Running Women. {Mis-ter "Just-doooo-what-I-tellllll-you-to-dooooo ...
Jul 31, 2010 4808
2 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #43
[Two fine friends to thank this morning! Thanks to Don Charles Lundell, of ZombieRunner fame, for this idea; and thanks to Lynnor ("Erma Bombeck") Matheney, of the great dust & cactus State of Texas, for this picture]: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=11157564&l=ec9b6e5a67&id=824005424 Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today ...
Jul 31, 2010 4742
19 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #42
[Despite the recent reaming, comedy and poignancy absolutely prohibit restraint in this case.] Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. E-mailer To The Wrong Guy To Take You Off The Listserv. {Mis-ter "I-sub-scribe-to-this-whole-list-but-I-can't-staaaand-what-YOU-put-here"!} You're a very ...
Jul 31, 2010 4847
6 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #41
[My thanks today is due to Megan Finnesy for suggesting this idea, something I personally could never have imagined.] Ingelhook Wineries present... REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS {Real gals of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we raise our glass to you, Miss Consensual Slave to the Race Director for Preferential Treatment. {Miss "I willlllllllll DO aaaaannnnnnn-y-thing ...
Jul 31, 2010 4939
19 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #40
Ingelhook Wineries present... REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS {Real gals of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we lift our goblet to you, Miss Joining-the-Running-Club-to-Bag-a-Hubby, Then Quitting, Babe. {Miss "where ARE all the sing-le men in theeeese woods any-way?"} Where have you been? You joined our sweet little group to find some company for "long runs," but ...
Jul 30, 2010 5004
10 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #39
Ingelhook Wineries present... REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS {Real gals of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we raise our glass to you, Miss Total Running Amazon with The Inferiority Complex. {Miss "dontchoo think I am tooooo taaaaaallllllllllll?"} You are five-foot-ten-and-three-quarters-inches tall and weigh one hundred and fifty-one pounds. You are running with ...
Jul 30, 2010 4662
19 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #38
[Again thanks and credit is due to Lora Mantelman for issuing this "challenge" to which the author now responds.] Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss!} Today we salute you, Mr. Whacked-Out Writer of Real Men/Women of Genius. {Mis-ter What-in-the-hell-are-you-DO-ING-ta-king-up-all-this-space?} So, you are qualified ...
Jul 30, 2010 5761
13 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #37
Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. Running Complainer That Nobody Ever Waves Back. {Mis-ter "Why can't ev-ree-bod-y jus-getta-long--and waaaave at meeeeeee?"} Boo. Dee. Hoo. Hoo. to. you. Do you wave when you run at every single biped and quadruped---indeed all gawk's creatures great ...
Jul 30, 2010 5004
19 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #36
[We are grateful to Lora Mantelman for suggesting this idea. Thanks!] Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. Public Listserv Displayer of Apparently Private Affection. {Mis-ter "I haaaave se-cret code names for EVVVV'RYbunny on this list!"} "Happy Birthday, Sparkie?" "Congratulations ...
Jul 30, 2010 5217
19 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #35
Ingelhook Wineries present... REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS {Real gals of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we raise our glass to you, Miss Northern Climes Happy-New-Year Athletic Event Bikini Wearer. {Miss "do yoooou think I should keep my m-m-mit-tens on?"} Is this Miami? Hawaii? San Diego? Not hardly. This is 12-degrees Fahrenheit and you are wearing your ...
Jul 30, 2010 5248
17 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #34
[Hey, THIS ain't happenin' tomorrow. So gotta be today, if at all this week. Merry Christmas, allah yous gah-roovy fit 'n' fab little (or big) Listers and Listerveens!] Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. Santa Claus Hat-Wearing Running Race Runner. {Mis-ter "Is my cute red-and-white ...
Jul 30, 2010 5078
19 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #33
[Again, thanks for this basic idea is owed to our friend Nancy Shura-Dervin.] Ingelhook Wineries present... REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS {Real gals of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we raise our glass to you, Miss "I've-Got-A-Secret (Pain) And Can-Anybody-Help-Me-Cure-It?" {Miss "oh helllllllllllllllllllllllp-me-pleeeeeease, I have an ouwie!"} You know who ...
Jul 30, 2010 4222
4 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #32
[This one actually has an audio/visual aid: http://failblog.org/2009/09/25/women-only-sign-fail/ And thanks for this suggestion is owed to Tim Butterfield.] Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. Token White Male Running in a Women-Only Race. {Mis-ter "YOU can-not deny myyyy rights beeee-cuz ...
Jul 30, 2010 4532
11 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #31
[Back by popular non-demand after a brief non-vacation. Thanks for this idea is owed to our friend Nancy Shura-Dervin.] Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. Self-Appointed for the Listserv Non-Doctor of Medicine. {Mis-ter "That same innn-jurrrr-reeee has hap-pened to meeeeeeeee!"} We'll ...
Jul 30, 2010 4944
7 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #30
Ingelhook Wineries present... REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS {Real gals of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we lift our goblet to you, Miss Over-Credentialed Newbie Member of the Ultramarathoning Listserv. {Miss "oh helllllllllllllllllllllllp-me-pleeeease, I'm new heeeeeeeeeere!"} You could be signing up for the whole wrong list. You're fresh out of college, yes, ...
Jul 30, 2010 4730
18 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #29
Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. Non-Sexual Co-Ed Room Sharer/Travel Companion. {Mis-ter "I'llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll only be neeeeeeeeeeding floor-space!"} Sure, the "call" went out for someone to help share expenses, and you gallantly volunteered. Except, of course, ...
Jul 30, 2010
Aug 27, 2010
4904
19 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #28
Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. Worrier-Too-Much If Sex Will Hamper Your Running Performance. {Mis-ter Whaaaaat-if-it-taaaaaaaaaaaakes-too-much-out-of-meeeeee?} Nice try, of course. But every single person that subscribes to your same listserv can see right through you. It isn't ...
Aug 27, 2010 4180
9 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #27
Ingelhook Wineries present... REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS {Real gals of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we raise our glass to you, Mrs. Unknown Trail Runner Following in the Footsteps of Your Brother-In-Law. {Missus "where in the worrrrrrrld are yooooooooooou taa-king mee?"} Here is one big bad fat old ugly hint: *Don't* follow the brother-in-law. {"Butttttttttttttttttttt ...
Aug 27, 2010 3841
19 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #26
Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. Experienced New Trails Explorer With Your Sister-In-Law. {Mis-ter Let's-go-to-the-can-yons-to-day and bring no waaaaa-ter!} It's well over one hundred degrees, but you're cool. You have done this before, and your adoring young in-law looks up to you. ...
Aug 27, 2010 3916
2 mins ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #25
Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we honor you, Mr. Cigarette-Smoking Witless Witness To Great Big City Running Events. {Mis-ter Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, yo, does ya got a light?} It's about time you woke up off the floor of the third-floor apartment and staggered downstairs. It's 9:30, and you're proud of ...
Aug 27, 2010 3749
15 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #24
Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. Stuck-in-Traffic Behind-the-Policeman During-the-Marathon Angry Horn Blower. {Mis-ter "Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy is dys traaaaaaaf-fick NOT MOV-ING?"} You're in your car. You're on the street. It's Sunday morning in the big bad city. You're fifth in line ...
Aug 27, 2010 3875
2 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #23
[My thanks to Joe Judd for suggesting this, something he witnessed--but not exactly.] Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. Half-Naked Formerly-in-3rd-Place Legendary Ultramarathon Stoic. {Mis-ter "I uuuuuused to beeeee a con-ten-derrrrrrrrrr"!} It's 96-degrees. The sun is grilling ...
Aug 27, 2010 3300
12 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #22
Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. Indy-Class Speed Racer on the Rails-To-Trails Bike Path. {Mis-ter siiiiiiiiiiii-lent dead-lyyy ac-ci-dent-wai-ting-to-haaaap-pen!} You're hunkered down. You're slickly attired in your official Tour de France yellow hi-tech fabric wanna-wear with the ...
Aug 27, 2010
Aug 27, 2010
3780
19 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #21
[We interrupt our previously posted serious survey to bring you this regularly scheduled joke. BTW, thanks to all who have already responded to that survey. You've given some excellent opinions!] Ingelhook Wineries present... REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS {Real gals of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we lift our goblet to you, Mrs. Ultra-Listserv-Posting Soon-To-Be-Divorced ...
Aug 27, 2010
Aug 27, 2010
3854
19 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #20
Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. Anal-Retentive Runner and Bodily-Functions-Forever-Over-the-Internet Reporter. {Mis-ter taaaaaaaaaaaaake a looooooook at my blis-ter puss!} It takes a pretty special kind of cowboy with some pretty powerful urges to always want to publicize the athlete's ...
Jul 30, 2010
Aug 27, 2010
4844
19 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #19
Ingelhook Wineries present... REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS {Real gals of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we raise our glass to you, Miss Ultra-Organized Super-Planning Leave-Nothing-To-Chance Footracer. {Miss Best Thing Ever In-vennnnn-ted Was The Brother Label-making Machiiiiiiiiiine!} There isn't a blank space anywhere in your totally bulky 16-ring-loose-leaf ...
Jul 30, 2010
Jul 30, 2010
4649
17 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #18
Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. Over-The-Hill-Trail-Running/Hitting-On Chick Non-Magnet. {Mis-ter ollllllllld enough to be her graaaaaaaaaaandfatherrrrrrrrrrrrrr!} What, after all, makes you think she could possibly have any interest whatsoever in your reporting of your performance ...
Jul 30, 2010
Jul 30, 2010
4582
15 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #17
[Again I'm indebted to Nancy Shura for this suggestion.] Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. Exception-Demander for Admittance to Filled-Up Footraces. {Mis-ter oh-come-on doancha want/doancha even looooove mee doood!} Yes, they gave you warnings. Yes, they told you well ahead of ...
Jul 30, 2010
Jul 30, 2010
8485
19 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #16
Ingelhook Wineries present... REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS {Real gals of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we raise our glass to you, Missus Cell-Phoning, Makeupping, Rearview-Mirror-Gawking Terror on the Highways. {Missus Theeeese Are The Oh Sooooo Necessss-ssssities of Life!} All right, so you left a little late this morning and you're in a hurry and you know ...
Jul 30, 2010
Aug 8, 2011
4899
19 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #15
[Better late than never, huh?] Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. Testosterrific Love-My-Muscle-Car Speeding Highway Hot-rodder. {Mis-ter making-up-for-your-other-seeeeeereeeee-yus shortcomings guy!!!} Never mind that your only other competition along these rural roads are tractors ...
Jul 30, 2010
Aug 8, 2011
4331
19 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #14
[This idea was suggested by Jerry Davison. Thanks, I think.] Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. Flame-Throwing Private Warfare Waging on Open Listservs Dweeb. {Who's this Mr. Hu Flung Poo causing alllll these brown spots on my walllllll????) In medieval times, you'd have a joust. ...
Jul 30, 2010
Aug 8, 2011
4540
19 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #13 (Special Edition)
Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. Last-Place-Finisher of the "Last Annual Vol-State Road Race." {Mister just barely running-walking-crawling-oozing-rolling-sliming last-place finishing guuuuuy!} Three hundred and fourteen miles. WHAT were you thinking? Did you have a United e-ticket? ...
Jul 30, 2010
Aug 8, 2011
5074
1 hr ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #12
[I'm indebted to Nancy Shura, long-suffering race director, for this idea. ;-] Ingelhook Wineries present... REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS {Real gals of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we raise our glass to you, Missus Grand Inquisitor of Today's Ultra R.D. {Missus Give 'Em Allllllllllllllllllllllllllll the Third Degree!} Only you could come up with questions ...
Jul 30, 2010
Aug 8, 2011
4600
19 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #11
[I know what I said last week, but this is in honor of all those fine folks out there currently marking Hardrock trail in the San Juan Range] Ingelhook Wineries present... REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS {Real gals of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we raise our glass to you, Madam "This Is My Mountain; You Need To Get Off Now." {Madam "WHAAAAAAAA tarya doin' uppeeeeeeeeere?"} What ...
Jul 30, 2010
Aug 8, 2011
4753
19 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #10
Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. "This List Is My Press Agent" Partially Famous Guy. {Mister Meeeeee-dia 15-minutes-of-fame type guuuuuy!} You don't care what WE think. You never joined our Listserv to listen to US. You signed onto this electronical sign-on sheet strictly for the ...
Jul 26, 2010
Aug 8, 2011
5077
19 hrs ago
Real Men/Women of Genius #9
Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss} You have been waiting for this one for one whole week. {What have we been misssssssssssing?} Today we salute you, Mr. Can't-Be-Bothered-To-Tell-Anybody-I'm-Quitting-When-I-Quit Dad. {Mister... hey, is THIS the hubby of last week's psycho-mama with the bear-bait twins?} Of ...
Jul 26, 2010
Jul 30, 2010
3833
12 hrs ago
Real Women of Genius #1 (or is this #8?)
[Why should men be the only "geniuses"?] Ingelhook Wineries present... REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS {Real gals of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we raise our goblets to you, Mrs. "Run to Daddy, Children, He's Doing the Trail Ultra" Lady. {Drop 'em off and let 'em run to poppaaaaaaaaaaaa!} Sure, you think it'll be a nice surprise. You and the old man haven't ...
Jul 26, 2010
Jul 30, 2010
3648
10 hrs ago
Real Men of Genius #7
[Our friend Stu Gibeau suggested this one.] Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we toast you, Mr. Can't Figure Out How To Quit The List Guy. {Mister how-do-I-find-my-way-out-of-a-wet-paper-bag guyyyyyyyyyyyyy!} If it was a barn, you could not read what's written on it. Not on the narrow side, not on ...
Jul 26, 2010
Jul 30, 2010
3897
18 hrs ago
Real Men of Genius #6
Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. Trail-Ultra-Scouting Hunter/Tracker/Poacher Dude. {Mister grrrrrrreat old redneck fan of "The Deer Hunter" movieeeeee!!!} You have no idea why runners do this, but you're pretty sure that two-legged idiots in not much clothing attract lots of wildlife ...
Jul 26, 2010
Jul 30, 2010
3820
19 hrs ago
Real Men of Genius #5
[So, yeah. In honor of Paige Troelstrup, it's another BLF. Last week she'd written: "This should become your Friday tradition...BLF (Bud Light Fridays). Love 'em!!"] Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we celebrate you, Mr. Stubborn You're-Lost-But-I'm-Not Trail Ultramarathon Runner. {Mister Stub-born ...
Jul 26, 2010
Jul 30, 2010
3825
19 hrs ago
Real Men of Genius #4
Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. Unofficial Volunteer Trail Marshal Guy. {Mister unofficial volunteer trail marshal guuuuuy!} You know who you are. You walk out into the woods during our ultras encouraging us with "looking good" and "way to go," like as if we could hardly struggle ...
Jul 26, 2010
Jul 30, 2010
3934
Wed 7:21 am
Real Men of Genius #3
Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. E-mail Listserv One-Word Commentator. {Whoa!!! Where are all the arguuuuments?} "Agree," "Cool," "Thx," "YESSSS," or possibly just a sideways smiley-face; it's as if further progress in the philosophical discourse of Western Civilization Thought cannot ...
Jul 26, 2010
Jul 30, 2010
4153
Tue 11:50 pm
Real Men of Genius [number 2]
Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS [Real men of geeeeeene-yuss] Today we salute you, Mr. E-Mail Photography Internet-Sharer [You're A Reel Cyber Pixilated Geek JPEGggger!] Never mind that Walgreens, Dart Drug, Wal*Mart, and Tar-zhyay can make you full color prints suitable for framing--and they'll also sell you the frames--thereby making ...
Jul 8, 2010
Jul 30, 2010
4158
14 hrs ago
Real Men of Genius [the first one]
Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. Barkley Marathons Race Director. {Scruffy Unkempt Tennessee Chicken Farmerrrrrrrrrrr} Whereas most athletes on planet Earth train for years only to completely exhaust themselves running one marathon, you, in your directorial wisdom, give them FIVE. {Whoa! ...
Jul 8, 2010
Jul 30, 2010
4786
Wed 12:31 am

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