Full Article Title: Real Men/Women of Genius #12 Date: Thursday July 2nd, 2009 Author: Troubadour [I'm indebted to Nancy Shura, long-suffering race director, for this idea. ;-] Ingelhook Wineries present... REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS {Real gals of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we raise our glass to you, Missus Grand Inquisitor of Today's Ultra R.D. {Missus Give 'Em Allllllllllllllllllllllllllll the Third Degree!} Only you could come up with questions like these: "Is the forest course certified?" "Will there be split timers?" "Are bathrooms spaced evenly every few miles with hot and cold running water?" And "Can I count on somebody picking me up at the airport?" {Whyyyyyyyyyyy can't there be Ritz Hotelssssss?} "Is the race T-shirt dri-release, moisture-wicking, Papilene, Poly-Pro, CoolFit, Dri-Fit performance-wear, or 50-50 polyester and cotton, also long- or short-sleeve?" You ask. "Will it go with my gaiters and scrunchie?" Puh-leeze. We might think you're on a shopping safari to Abercrombie & Fitch, instead of a hundred mile odyssey through the steaming jungles of Arkansas. {Whattttttttt if the tee doesn't match my buff or my shorts or my socks or my Moebenssss???} "What about aid stations?" you holler into the phone. "Will they be Kosher?" {Oy meshuggeneh!!! Shiksehs and Goyim and Bubees oh my!} You inform the duly harangued thankless race director that your doctor has put you on a strict vegetarian, low-fructose, high-protein, non-dairy diet, "so I cannot be eating your usual rancid snacks," your edict continues. And furthermore, "Will the vegetables be steamed or stir-fried at the 50K mark? This is very important to my lowering of cholesterol. Do you have sushi?" {Whaaaaaaaaaaaat is she, The Galloping Gourmet?} So, ease your cork gently out of a properly chilled bottle of White Zinfandel, O Mrs. Aristotle Onassis, because you're a long way away from your yacht in the woods. On second thought, after all this whine? I wouldn't sip any Zinfandel, if I were you. There are no porcelain thrones in the forest primeval, and you might have to "hold it" for a mighty long time. {Missus Grand Inquisitor of Today's Ultra R.D.!!!} White Zinfandel yuppie wine: we don't drink it ourselves; we'd rather just guzzle beer. ( O_O ) And this may have to hold y'all for a couple weeks. I myself might be "yachting" awhile along the concrete rivers of Tennessee. Yours troubly, The Troubadour Yankee Folly of the Day: Hey, if dri-release moisture-wicking cool-knitted running gloves were the "race premium" for a run through Neverland? Michael Jackson would've only needed one. Active? Y Posted: July 30th, 2010 8:19 am Last Update: August 8th, 2011 1:37 pm Viewed: 4000 Last View: May 20th, 2013 3:27 am Unless otherwise indicated, all content, photos and art work published on this website are copyright property ©2004-2013 of Run Race and may not be republished without verifiable authorization from webmaster@runrace.net. Click for our: Terms and Conditions.