November 19th, 2019
What Ever Happened To [...] #1032
Friday January 24th, 2014
["And the 'hits' just keep on comin'…." "Hits" on websites and Twitter, I suppose. Hello, everyone, and welcome to another 24 hours of Bad Joke Friday! Which, without further ado, brings us right to today's topic. OK, joke. Maybe even bad joke! But this has all played out recently in various chat rooms, on ultrarunning listservs, Runner's World magazines, worldwide websites, Facebook even, and of course there have been "Tweets." And so we begin this morning's (well, on the Left Coast it's still morning) gourd-fearing sermon :]
Deerly Be-Gloved, amen. Hallelujah. For today's rant we shall take our text from the good World mag of Runner's:
And we ask:
WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO [being able to take a joke] ?
Here we find our load giving a lesson, to the totally disbelieving Yisraelites, that the heathen Walter Disenney (he isn't a properly buried Christian, after all, but a frozen ice block in a lab somewhere) and his company, Scrooge & Associates, PC, Inc., has effected a corporate raid on Good Bad Water Enterprises. In a hostile takeover, Scrooge McDuck has acquired yet another cartoon entity from yet another doubtless Scrooge.
And The Other Scrooge responded immediately! Twittering, perhaps, on the fleeting tweets of vultures, or lost Angeles. I direct you now to your hymnals, to page…
…and scrape your fingernail down until you arrive around abouts January the 13th--which wasn't a Friday, by the way, and thus hath thrown off the multitudes--whereupon, yea verily, you can enliven your souls by rereading the tweets of the Philistines.
And yet even furthermore, deerly begloved, please now open your prayerbooks (not) to the following chapter:
You may have to have previously been baptized as a member of that particular congregation, but, by such baptizing, thou canst then unfurl the scroll, again, to chapters and verse covering January the 13th.
But in case you have (not) been baptized into that Church of The Book of Face, allow me to put on my eyeglasses and read it aloud to you:
"For the record, there is NO TRUTH to the rumour that Disney has bought the Badwater 135, as erroneously 'reported' by Mark Remy, the goofiest and daffiest writer I've encountered in a long time. Here is the email I just sent via his website:
"I'm not sure what the intent of your bizarre and fanciful post about Disney buying the Badwater 135 was, unless today were April 1, however my phone and email are blowing up with comments and questions about something that has not happened.
"As the race director and owner of the Badwater® 135, Badwater® Ultra Cup, and the Badwater® trademark, I can state unequivocally that I have never even heard from Disney, let along entered into any type of agreement with them.
"As such, please provide a disclaimer or retraction immediately to state that your post is entirely fictional.
"That said, we'd be happy to take such a call from Disney if they are interested.
Race Director, Badwater 135
Chief Adventure Officer, AdventureCORPS, Inc."
Thus sayest The Loud(est), and thanks be to gaud.
Amen amen I say unto thee, listeners, can you, in good faith, comprehend what has just happened here? Have you consulted yon first referenced text (above) and… somehow, incredibly, astonishingly, actually BELIEVED THAT????
O my brethren and cistern, HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY????
And yet, here we witness as to whereas This Other Scrooge was totally baffled. Completely mystified. Absolutely UN-seeing of the load's truth. Totally (due no doubt to his own heathen ways and means committee) UN-able to discern gord's real meaning here, and to separate out that wheat from the chaff of self-righteousness, haughty indignation, and huffy effrontery at the mere *hint* that His Nibs could possibly EVER sign over his heathen empire to some obvious antichrist for the right price.
O my gracious goodness, CAN YOU IMAGINE????
Those of the rest of us, who have and yet retain the faith in all things Goofy being rendered unto Goofy, and all things goad being rendered unto gaud, well… haven't we not seen right through this? Have WE been deceived? Have WE been beguiled? Beguiled into believing that this Good Bad Water has now become a Mickey Mouse race????
Even the load was a laughing load! Haven't you all seen that hippie poster? Under blacklight, if need be? Yea verily, he, even HE, relished a "good one" put over on the good peeps of Yisrael. Did HE not raise Lazarus? Would not they ALL have rather Laz stay dead????
Great gosh a'mighty! O how those greed-filled Scrooges hath mist the hole point. That Good Mag of Runner's… only wanted us to laugh.
But thus have we seen the reaction. And thus we have witnessed the blasphemy. But also thus, please notice, deerly begloved, that…
…for the right price...
…yea, even HE, Scrooge Junior, would *still* entertain an offer from The Duck & Goofy Enterprises, should they decide to call.
( O_O )
"your 800-year-old lute-plucking son-of-a-beach fire-and-brimstone multitudes-comforting collection-plate-collecting gord-fearing preacher from France"
Yankee Folly of the Day:
Yes, we no longer provide the answer to "whatever happened to" questions. You've studied. You're old enough. You figure it out.
Go there in new browser
Additional website reference address.
January 25th, 2014 1:21 am
January 25th, 2014 1:37 am
November 19th, 2019 3:49 am
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